Bringing Home the Bacon
by The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule
Summary: -Oneshot- A short and simple story involving a good Raditz, Chichi, and jobs. Come to think of it... What kind of Earthly job WOULD Raditz have if he got one? Celebrating one year on FanFictionNet!


**Whatsup everyone!? The Hylian Saiyan brings you her third oneshot! A very special oneshot too. Wanna know why it's special?**

**Everyone: No.**

**No?? Fine! I'm telling you anyway! Unless I read the join date and calenders wrong, today should be the one year anniversary, of when I joined this site! Yay! Can I get some applause here?**

**(Crickets start chirping)**

**...**

**Disclaimer: An entire year has passed, but I still don't own it...**

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After making a trip to Earth in search of his only brother, the Saiyan, Raditz, gave up life as a cruel, bloodthirsty space pirate. When the long-haired Saiyan suffered a most humiliating defeat, he was somehow convinced to retire and give peaceful life on Earth a chance.

After many adventures fighting alongside his younger sibling and a group of friends known as the Z Warriors, he finally settled down on the blue planet, spending a lot of his time visiting his new family; his brother's family.

"Nothing to do... Nothing to do..." Raditz mumbled in a bored tone, his face planted on the surface of the kitchen table.

"Raditz, I know you're bored an' all..." Chichi said. "But could you get yer head off the table? You're gettin' hair in all the food!"

"Sorry..." he pulled away, dragging a few little goodies off the table with his overgrown locks.

Gohan stared blankly while holding a bowl of rice in front of him, taking a slow bite as he watched sauce drip from the tip of Raditz's hair.

"Kakarot's somewhere in space, Vegeta's looking for him, and Gohan is always studying... Which leaves me with no one to train with!" Raditz complained.

"Is that _all _you Saiyans think about?" Chichi asked, while taking a seat across the table.

"It's what we do." Raditz answered in a 'duh' kind of tone.

"Okay..." Chichi said, then suddenly thought of something. "I know! Why don't you get a job?"

Raditz's interest was piqued. "They have jobs for warriors?"

"Sure," Chichi said. "Not ones where you need to be a warrior..."

He quickly lost interest. "Then why would I care?"

"I could really use the help, you know." Chichi said. "Especially with as much as you boys eat an' all."

"Fine, I'll just go hunting then." Raditz stuck his nose in the air.

A smirk broke out on Chichi's face as she shook her head. "You're so stubborn, just like Goku-_sa!_"

"Oh gee, it's like we're brothers!" he replied sarcastically. Chichi stuck her tongue out at him.

Gohan quietly watched from his seat, this amusing scene. He held the rice bowl up to his chin, eating his lunch in a way that resembled a kid eating cereal with both eyes glued to the Saturday morning cartoons.

"Why don't you train with me?" Raditz said out of the blue. Lifting a bit of rice to his lips, Gohan froze in place, then fought back a smile; this just got better!

Chichi looked at Raditz funny. "For a minute, I thought you were askin' me to fight!"

"I did."

"You're kidding, right?" Chichi said. "You'd probly kill me with one hit!"

"I'll go easy on you." he said, in hopes of convincing her.

"Well," Chichi said. "If you're that desperate..."

Raditz's eyes lit up like a child's, while Gohan was sorry he'd be too busy doing homework to see this.

"But on one condition: YOU have to do the dishes after lunch." Chichi folded her arms while she said it.

--

"My skin is all shriveled up!" Raditz complained, as he stared upon his pruny hands. He shook a fist at Chichi. "You better make this worth my while!"

"Don't be so rude!" Chichi scolded. "You're settin' a bad example for Gohan! Are you ready now?"

"Of course," Raditz said. "Why don't we make it more interesting?"

"How?" Chichi asked.

"First one to fall on the ground loses!" Raditz answered.

"Not fair!" Chichi said. "All you have to do, is tap me an' I'll fall!"

"You're right. How about this: You lose if you fall 10 times, while I lose, if I hit the ground once!"

"Fine... I guess if you don't mind only sparring for a few minutes." Chichi said, referring to Raditz's superior strength and speed.

"I'll make it even better... If you win, I'll even get a job!" he teased.

"Now that's just mean! Losing is gonna hurt even more now..."

"I know." Raditz laughed. "It's too bad it'll never happen! You'll go down over and over again, and I won't go down even once!" he laughed some more.

--

"I can't believe you got Chichi to spar with you." Goku said, when he returned after a year in space. "How the heck did you lose?"

"I tripped..." Raditz grumbled, while holding a pitchfork in his hand. "So here I work now..."

Goku was silent for a moment. "Why a farmer?"

"It was the only job I could find, that would hire me. They said they've been looking for someone to replace the last guy for a few years now, ever since they found him dead over there." he pointed to the spot.

"Really?" Goku said. "For some reason, I feel like I've seen this place before... Where are we?"

With a scowl, Raditz replied. "It's the same place I landed when I first came to Earth..."

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**I'm sorry if it sounded kinda stupid... But I hope you liked and enjoyed it anyway! This idea had hit me a few months ago. Out of the blue one day, I started thinking of how funny it would be, if Raditz had become a good guy and ended up working as the replacement for the farmer with the shotgun. :p Once I started writing, the whole thing with him and Chichi just came out.**

**Please tell me what you think!**


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